Still Learning

Well, it was a hard pill to swallow but when my son told me he thought I might make my husband feel like a burden from the story I told of our Mexican trip. I had to
STOP
and think

maybe he did but I didn't think so. ~~
             My story was told with a lightheartedness and a sense of humor as to how a single event can turn into a time consuming adventure when you're traveling with someone with special needs and disabilities. I told the story with a lot of detail so the  person listening could get the sense of how long the simplest tasks can  take and how quickly and easily things can go wrong.

Well,
I was reminded that my husband may be bothered by this so I promised my son I would ask him, sure-I would know  his answer. I mean heck if you can't laugh at life....
I mean what's the alternative?
Cry?

So I asked. And do you know what he said?
Not what I expected, that's for sure.
He said, that "yes, it did make him feel like a burden."
Did you see my face fall just now?
In my desire to cope with our shared circumstances and make light of them I was hurting my husband and he was wearing his humility silently.

Did you ever feel justified and like a heel at the same time?
Justified-because I was sure this was a healthy way to combat the frustration of caring for someone with his unique needs
and
like a heel -because I was wrong.

Now what?

To do justly
to love mercy and
to walk humbly with Thy God.

That is what the Lord requires of me.

Fail.

Well. So I learned something. I'm not always so fun to live with either. We love, we hurt, we break, we cry, we struggle, we apologize..."A righteous man falls seven times and rises again"
God  is still teaching me and I'm glad I can still hear

and change.